![]() I read an article about anal today and it got me thinking. I like thinking about you touching yourself.Ģ3. It’s so hot to imagine you tying me up.Ģ1. I’m picturing you and me with another person.ġ9. ![]() ![]() “It's also okay to keep them private,” she says.ġ7. But remember you don’t have to reveal all your deepest fantasies. and if you are the ‘we can tell each other everything’ types, this can give all kinds of erotic fodder (and narrative structure) to your sexts,” offers Queen. “This is especially great when you want to introduce a fantasy. Tell Them Things You Like To Fantasize AboutĪddictive Stock / Lightsy/Addictive Stock/Getty Images I want you to tease me until I can’t take it any longer.ġ6. Tell me what you think about when you masturbate.ġ0. “Even if you can't find the words in person, you can add your actual wishes and requests in a sexy text.” Then you can bring it up in person and tell them you meant what you said - just be careful not to get carried away and say you’re down for something in a text that you actually aren’t comfortable with IRL.ĩ. “Sexting can actually be a bridge to talking directly with your partner about things that are important to you sexually,” explains Queen. These are not only hot, but also a conduit of super healthy sexual communication. My clothes are coming off the second I get home.Ĩ. I’m going to let you do anything you want to me.ħ. I’m wearing something you might like right now.ģ. I want you to lie back and let me take care of you tonight.Ģ. “This is actually a strategy many sex therapists and sexologists would recommend for people who need to add some excitement into a sexual relationship,” Queen adds.ġ. And if you’re in a long-distance relationship, the buildup from these juicy texts are going to make the reunion that much steamier. “These are a wonderful way to build excitement before a date or when reuniting after one of you has been away,” Queen tells Bustle. Whatever the reason for sexting may be, here are 50 examples of sexy messages you can send to your partner to get a hot convo going. You might sext as a way to gain affirmation or to relieve anxiety, which can come in handy when you’re in a long-distance relationship and aren’t able to see each other other day. The 2019 Texas Tech study also pointed out that sexting isn’t always about sex, but it may be a way for many couples to feel close and connected. “That would change the ‘is it OK’ answer to no, at least in terms of photos.” You and your partner must both be legal adults who mutually consent to the texts you send and receive. ![]() doing it where your phone could easily be seen by someone else who hasn't consented to see something that intimate or sexual.” Finally, Queen reminds sexters that in most states, people under 18 cannot legally send erotic photos of themselves. Queen also says to be sure you’re sexting privately and not involving other people, “i.e. “If someone is urging you to cross your own boundaries, don't do it.” Also, they emphasize that you must own your phone - please do not sext your partner on a work phone where your boss or an HR person can freely scroll through your dirty messages. “Even better if you talk specifically about sexting and agree on what counts as sexting, plus likes and limits,” Queen suggests. For one, you should trust the person not to share the material with anyone even if you break up, and make sure that you both actually want to do it. Carol Queen, Ph.D., sex educator and staff sexologist at Good Vibrations, tells Bustle that sexting is absolutely OK in a relationship if the circumstances are right. Even Jack and Rose knew what was up (“paint me like one of your French girls,” anyone?). According to a 2019 study from the Sexuality, Sexual Health & Sexual Behavior Lab in the Texas Tech University Department of Psychological Sciences, sexting is also a really great way to communicate sexual desires to your partner - aka, all the stuff you really want to try in bed but may be too nervous to talk about face-to-face.Īs doctoral student Kassidy Cox noted in the study, “People used to write love poems and steamy letters, then when photography became more commonplace, couples used to take boudoir photos for each other." So, it stands to reason that sexting is the next evolution of how couples communicate, flirt, and engage in foreplay. But that doesn’t mean you can’t turn yourself into a sexting genius with a little practice - or, you know, by pulling from an online list of sample sexting ideas.īut before you figure out what to say to initiate a sexy conversation, it may be helpful to know that sexting is incredibly common. Nerves can take over, as can the fear of sounding too cheesy. Sometimes, even when the mood is right, it can be tough to figure out what to say when you’re sexting. ![]()
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